Why People Detransition: Therapy and Realizations

Today I’m joined by the founder of Detrans.AI, an innovative chatbot and data tool designed to amplify the perspectives of detransitioners. A young web developer from Wellington, New Zealand, Peter shares how his journey began with trying to understand a loved one, and how his search for answers led him to discover the largely silenced stories of those with transition regret.

We dive deep into the technical and ethical decisions Peter made while building Detrans.ai, including his choice to use a Chinese AI model (Kimi K2) to avoid the pro-gender ideology bias baked into Western AI systems like ChatGPT. Peter walks us through the site's powerful data visualizations, which reveal striking patterns: the peak ages for transition and detransition, the gender differences in why people transition (with autogynephilia prominent for males and internalized misogyny for females), and perhaps most importantly—that proper psychotherapy is the number one factor leading to detransition for females.

We explore how parents and questioning individuals can use this tool, the social backlash Peter has faced for creating it, and why dismantling the "born this way" narrative is essential for protecting young people experiencing gender distress. This conversation offers hope that ethical therapists are beginning to step forward and that tools like Detrans.ai can help bridge the gap between concerned parents and the truth about what's really driving the gender crisis.

Peter James Steven is a developer and designer from Wellington, New Zealand. He recently developed a sited called detrans.ai to promote the experiences and perspectives of detransitioners. Detrans.ai is primarily a chatbot that deconstructs gender concepts and to promotes holistic, non-medical approaches to healing gender distress. It integrates knowledge from the /r/detrans subreddit, which is the largest open collection of detrans experiences on the internet. Follow him on X @pjamessteven.

[00:00:00] Start
[00:03:45] Why the "Born This Way" Narrative Is Toxic
[00:09:30] Building AI Without Gender Ideology Bias
[00:17:45] The 5000% Increase in Gender Dysphoria Referrals
[00:27:30] Analyzing 2,700 Detransitioner Stories
[00:35:00] Male vs Female Transition Reasons Compared
[00:42:32] What Actually Causes People to Detransition
[00:49:27] Tour of the Detrans.ai Platform
[00:57:45] Debunking Common Gender Ideology Myths
[01:02:35] Message to Detransitioners and Closing Thoughts

ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2025 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!

Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.

Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.

Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.

Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.

Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.

Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.