Do You Retire This Dice?

"We've been looking for somebody to run HR. The last guy was named Brad and he was, if you're part of the expression, the pits." "I used to be able to fly like a bat, but now I seem to not have that ability anymore because of your weird law," Dracula says. 'You could come work with us and maybe do some good in the world,' his new boss adds. "[Dracula] grabs onto your back. Okay, what does this accomplish? You can get faster now'