Processing Grief and Building Resilience

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What happens when you don’t process your grief? What happens when you avoid dealing with loss? People say that time heals, but I would argue that it doesn’t unless you allow yourself to work through your pain little by little. Now it’s clear that each person’s grief is unique, there isn’t a concrete set of steps you can do in order, there isn’t a time limit for mourning. But there is a big difference between working through stuff and not working through stuff. People who process their grief allow themselves to face their pain, even in small doses. They address their feelings, they may talk about them or write about them, they mourn. When someone doesn’t work through their pain, they try to distract themselves, they keep busy, they desperately avoid their pain, which in the long run leads to more pain. So we’re going to talk about 7 signs that you’re not processing your grief. And you’ll learn 3 ways to start to face your grief in small steps. Recently I partnered with Sarah Engler, LCSW, to create a course called ”Understanding Grief and Loss”. She teaches how loss can stem from a loved one dying, but it can also come from many more situations- like a divorce, an expectation that doesn’t happen, a lifecycle change like aging or change in employment, and so many more situations where you may experience strong emotions about losing something you care about. Sarah does a great job explaining how not dealing with your loss can lead to these 7 signs.

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.

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