5min chapter

Becoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda cover image

Episode 214: Things To Know Before Engagement + A Bonus! (from BeSo Live)

Becoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda

CHAPTER

How to Deal With Past Tragedy

Joey and Heath talk about what you need to know before you get engaged. We also had a great conversation with our friends from RO about putting our phones away so we'd be freed up from technology. Joey says he's actually kind ofactivated his Facebook account because it was that bad now did I just have my wedding pictures put up there? What do you think the clearest stat when you open your mouth is that 50% of our listeners lose their minds if they don't hear us talking about things like baggage, hurts habits or family dynamics.

00:00
Speaker 1
the role for us to play so I think you're you're dealing with past you're dealing with baggage hurts habits hang up family dynamics faith dynamics all of those kinds of things are are what you're going to want to talk through as you're moving to the altar I think the fear of that because our our past like I believe that we this generation has more baggage than generations in recent history not any generation ever but generations in recent history and so I think that's one of the things that keeps us single when we desire marriage is we don't want to deal with that not everyone but it works both ways like I mean you may not have a past but there's people around you that do and because they don't want to deal with it that keeps them single so those are all all things to think through it
Speaker 3
was there a right answer wrong answer like you said Monica's the more spiritually mature and and she didn't want to know and you really really did want to know like is one right versus wrong I don't
Speaker 1
I don't think there's a right and wrong I think there is I mean I think her is hers is you know she she's just the more spiritually mature this is the fact but I think you can know whatever you want to know right you can and so usually you think through that you got to be intellectually honest emotionally honest and say man I really truly want to know this and some of you're going to be like no it's really easy for me to just forgive you and I don't want to know and they may say hey it would I it would be healing for me to tell you and so you might you know they may say I really want to I want you to know this though before we get married I want you to know this about me and so those are just all things to talk through the thing you can't do is not address that you know I can't tell you in vocational ministry in the past you know 16 17 years how many times I've heard the story hey I married them but I didn't really know who they were in an effort to justify their their divorce they would just say man I just didn't really know who they were well I'll say okay don't let that be any of you you know don't marry somebody you don't really know who they are and that's why why we date we have we have that and let
Speaker 4
someone really know who you are that's right like that is also the scary part that's the vulnerability of being known by another person but that is ultimately what happens in marriage so make sure you're not just getting to know them but that you're showing who you really are as well and some
Speaker 1
of these are really hard things guys and I get it like men like some even just the nature of hearing these words kind of send you back to places you don't ever want to deal with and and there is so much patience and so much grace we're not in any hurry I just want even if we're taking baby steps forward we just want to take steps forward you know and so just know that that we're here as much as we can from afar but most of all what we're going to do is say hey you've got to find this local body this local expression of a church that you're known there and that there's God-fearing leaders there that can help you there and that you serve there and so just just know that and
Speaker 4
also read the book ready or not together and go
Speaker 1
through yeah that's a great resource
Speaker 3
we're outdated
Speaker 1
we're out dated
Speaker 3
well I hope you love that conversation as much as we did we had a ton of fun at B so live talking about what you need to know before you get engaged but we also wanted to give you some other content today because we had another conversation with our friends from RO about our phones and the usefulness of putting them away so many of us seem to be addicted to our phones and we don't want to get used to that addiction so we had a great conversation with them about putting our phones away so we'd be freed up from technology and if you struggle with that like I struggle with that check this
Speaker 1
out what's up podcast world it's your boy JP in the podcast studio nates checking his Facebook friends how many do
Speaker 3
you have now did we start well I'm just on Instagram right now yeah I actually kind of deactivated my my Facebook account is that bad why I just I had I hadn't used it in years like we got married put pictures of our wedding up there and I haven't used it since
Speaker 1
okay so that's thank you that's really good yeah we do have two friends with us forgive us for ignoring you guys for just a minute and so this is Joey and Heath and y'all are with RO and so we're gonna have a conversation around technology which is I mean it's gonna blow your mind I was looking at some stats and you know the the clearest stat when I look at our podcast is that when you open your mouth we lose 50% of our followers which I was like that's fascinating I'm surprised it's not more I was I was amazed guys welcome thanks for jumping in with us thank you for the other with it from from Knoxville Tennessee we are in Knoxville how much
Speaker 3
cooler is Waco than Knoxville oh that's
Speaker 2
a

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