The Addiction Model Isn't Working for Sex, Right?

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Silva Neves. Silva is a Psychotherapist specializing in Psychosexual & Relationship Psychotherapy, Sexual abuse, and Compulsive sexual behaviours. His model of psychotherapy is integrative and humanistic, which means that he uses different approaches from different therapeutic models to suit his client’s needs best. Silva integrates psychotherapeutic modalities, such as Gestalt, Psychodynamic, CBT, ACT, and Transactional Analysis with specific psycho-sexological knowledge and diverse relationships. The two of us talk about his new book, “Compulsive Sexual Behaviours: A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians.” We discuss the difference between the addiction and compulsion models of problematic sexual behaviour as well as the recommended approach for working with clients who struggle with watching porn.

Key points:

• Silva introduces himself
• Acknowledging the problem with porn
• The difference between “addiction” and “compulsion”
• Language is important
• Subjectivity and personal values
• Shame and the problem with avoiding triggers
• “Becoming erotically aware, not erotically avoidant”
• Black-and-white thinking: Anti-porn vs Pro-porn

Relevant links:

Silva’s Instagram: @silvanevespsychotherapy

Silva’s Website: ​​https://www.silvaneves.co.uk/