
Jess Hill - A 'love' of Control
The Imperfects
Coercive Control: Lessons from POWs
This chapter investigates the roots of coercive control, focusing on the behavior of American prisoners of war after the Korean War. It uncovers psychological manipulation techniques that mirror those found in toxic relationships, illustrating how initial kindness can lead to cycles of control and exploitation.
Domestic violence is an epidemic in Australia, and Jess Hill has dedicated a good chunk of time trying to understand why.
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Joining us in the Academy of Imperfection, Jess explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the unrelenting system of entrapment that many women find themselves in, including a detailed look at the history of coercive control, and the term ‘perspecticide’.
Describing the importance of early intervention for young boys, and answering the question ‘Why don’t they just leave?’, Jess discusses with Josh the difference between guilt and shame, and the fundamental impact of these emotions.
This episode is compulsory listening for everyone (obviously, it’s Jess Hill talking about one of the most significant issues in our country), but especially those who, in their quietest, most vulnerable moment, recognise themselves as a perpetrator and want to take the next steps to changing the cycle of trauma.
Jess, we cannot thank you enough.
If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPAi24DyWRc
🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
- Tarang Chawla - Men Talking About Men’s Violence - https://bit.ly/45p2aBN
- Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3SSvrND
- An Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4n4ce9o
- Another Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4jUHQf7
🎧Things to listen to
- The Trap - Why Do They Do It? - https://bit.ly/3G0H9D1
📺 Things to watch
- See What You Made Me Do - https://bit.ly/3STaUbW
- Matt Brown TedTalk - https://bit.ly/4jP1RUc
📖 Things to read
- See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3HG8gno
- The Reckoning by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3FQyZNy
- Losing It by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/4ni3YD8
- She Is Not Your Rehab by Matt Brown with Sarah Brown - https://bit.ly/45In6Uz
- Rape in Marriage by Diana E.H Russell - https://bit.ly/4n3q0Jr
- Home Truths by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/402SfOC
- The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge - https://bit.ly/4eejITp
- Shame and Pride by Donald Nathanson - https://bit.ly/4lsrc7V
- Three Planet Model by Marianne Hester - https://bit.ly/4e4sG5t
💻Things to check out
- Yiliyapinya - https://yiliyapinya.org.au/about/
- Inner Boy - She Is Not Your Rehab - Free 30 Day Program - https://bit.ly/4jPOdQA
🚨If you, or someone you know, is exhibiting behaviour that may be concerning or problematic, call MensLine on 1300 78 99 78, or No To Violence on 1300 766 491.
🚨If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend the nation24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732.
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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
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