Stephanie Coontz: One thing that makes the eulogy viable is that the person isn't there to hear it. So you can say things that may be so emotional or mushy or sweet that you'd feel uncomfortable saying. Do you think maybe that's why we wait? She says she never wrote Anders a gratitude letter, which solves for the same things you're craving. "I wish I had appreciated you more actively and in a way"
Also: how does a comedian cope with tragedy? With Eugene Mirman.