Politeness, Face-Threats, and Collaborative Closings

Marking a major personal milestone, Brené shares what led her to 30 years of sobriety and Adam asks what it taught her about change. From there, they pivot to why Brené can’t tolerate the cringe of The Office —and Adam’s take on how to engage with it. Finally, they deliver a masterclass on the art and science of ending social interactions, sharing the ultimate shortcut to a graceful exit. This is great! 

You can find The Curiosity Shop on ⁠YouTube⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠ (@thecuriosityshop).

0:00 - What Are We Talking About Today?

5:00 - Sober AF: Celebrating 30 Years of Sobriety 

16:30 - Grieving for Joy

28:22 - Why Can’t Brené Watch The Office?

43:18 - Loving or Hating Violating the Rules

49:30 - The Art of Leaving Conversations Respectfully

1:03:40 - The Shortcut to a Graceful Exit

1:08:39 - What Adam and Brené Are Watching Now

Gottman Institute - Research and History - Drs. Julie and John Gottman (Founded 1996)

The Love Prescription, Part 2 of 3 - Brene Brown with Drs John and Julie Gottman, 2022, Unlocking Us Podcast

The Power of Vulnerability - Brené Brown, 2010, TED Talk, TEDxHouston

Everything You Think You Know About Addiction Is Wrong - Johann Hari, 2015, TED Talk, TEDGlobalLondon

The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior - Dai, Milkman & Riis, 2014, Management Science

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead - Brené Brown, 2012, book, Gotham Books

I Love Lucy: Job Switching - Arnaz, 1952, CBS

The Office: Scott's Tots - B.J. Novak, 2009, NBC

Benign Violations: Making Immoral Behavior Funny - McGraw & Warren, 2010, Psychological Science

Office Ladies - Fischer & Kinsey, 2019-present, Audacy (Podcast)

Do Conversations End When People Want Them To? - Mastroianni et al., 2021, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences

Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage - Brown & Levinson, 1987, Cambridge University Press (Book)

Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids - Logan Ury, 2026, Gottman Institute

The Virtues of Gossip: Reputational Information Sharing as Prosocial Behavior - Feinberg, Willer, Stellar & Keltner, 2012, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

Jury Duty - Eisenberg & Stupnitsky, 2023-2026, Amazon Prime Video (Television Series) 

Jury Duty Presents: Company Retreat - Eisenberg & Stupnitsky, 2026, Amazon Prime Video (Television Series)

The Madison - 2026, Sheridan, Paramount+ (Television Series)

Landman - Sheridan, 2024-present, Paramount+ (Television Series)

Opening Up Closings - Schegloff & Sacks, 1973, Semiotica

Closing the Conversation: Evidence from the Academic Advising Session - Hartford & Bardovi-Harlig, 1992, Discourse Processes

Collaborative Strategies in Chinese Telephone Conversation Closings - Sun, 2005, Pragmatics

Ending Social Encounters - Albert & Kessler, 1978, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology

Relations in Public: Microstudies of the Public Order - Erving Goffman, 1971, Basic Books (Book)

Sorry for Your Kindness: Japanese Interactional Ritual in Public Discourse - Ide, 1998, Journal of Pragmatics

Getting Down to Business: Talk, Gaze, and Body Orientation During Openings of Doctor-Patient Consultations - Robinson, 1998, Human Communication Research

Negotiating Last-Minute Concerns in Closing Korean Medical Encounters - Park, 2013, Social Science & Medicine

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