Why Choose to Be Awake: Imagery and Grief of Missed Life

We all feel numb sometimes. Our numbing parts protect us from stress, pain, and overwhelm. But what happens when numbness lingers?

As we kick off The One Inside's seventh season, Jeff and I share what we’ve learned about working with numbing parts. We led a workshop at the recent 2025 IFS Annual Conference called Why Check In When You Can Check Out: A Self-Led Approach to Numbing Parts.

In this episode we walk you through the highlights of our workshop and share a few of the insights we brought home from the conference.

We discuss:

• What I discovered about numbness, embodiment, and grief this past year

• Numb parts are “invisible protectors” and why simply naming the numb matters

• The compounding opportunity costs of numbing and what we miss when we spend too much time checked out

• The grief of emerging from numbness

• How numbness shows up across generations and cultures

• The NUMB framework we created for reconnecting with Self

I keep returning to this slide from our deck: Our protectors think they’re saving our lives, but sometimes they’re quietly stealing our vitality.

I share a lot about my numb season, and how naming the "nothing" became a game-changer. I hope as you listen you’ll notice your own ways of checking in and checking out and name the places where numbness shows up for you.

This week’s episode is sponsored by: 

Pisgah Coaching Institute: Founded by IFS-trained master coach Brian Jaudon, a pioneer in the integration of IFS and coaching for more than two decades. Brian and his faculty teach a blended methodology for clarifying and living into a vision of any kind. pisgahcoaching.com

Pause With Laura:  Restore Your Self Retreat for IFS Therapists & Practitioners at Kripalu, October 19-22, 2025. Download FREE IFS Resources from Laura (PDF & guided meditations). Join our Pause with Laura community for monthly Parts Reflections and deals on upcoming offerings.

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that’s still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, live events, meditations, and extended interviews.

• Find merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch select clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I create The One Inside with my friend, Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner who loves helping helpers create with confidence and clarity.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get “Get to Know a Should Part” right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.