How to Get on Stuck?

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"Secondary gain is the unobvious gain from staying stuck somewhere, right? So it's not primary gain. It is the hidden benefit or relief, or something that you don't even know you're getting from it," she says. "I really believe that, the reason i wrote this book is that i believe that people are smart, and they just need a guide."

This has been a year that has tested our boundaries on nearly every level. Work, friendship, family, community, geography, politics, religion, social issues, love, and wellbeing. Even our own inner boundaries with technology. It’s like we’re being asked to draw lines, all day, every day. And, our ability to do just that, well, it just may mean the difference between peace and calamity.

Question is, how? How do you create and uphold boundaries that are clear, healthy, and constructive, while also acknowledging the nuance, kindness, and understanding this moment demands? That’s what we’re diving into in today’s special compilation episode on boundaries, featuring key elements of conversations we’ve had with therapists, bestselling authors, and boundary experts, Nedra Glover Tawwab and Terri Cole. You’re going to want to take notes on this episode, what you learn may not only help breathe more easily and reclaim space and peace, it just might also change your life.

You can find Nedra at: Website | Instagram | Discover Your Secondary Gain

You can find Terri at: Website | Instagram | Discover Your Secondary Gain | The Terri Cole Show

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Jud Brewer about unwinding anxiety.

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