Episode 297: Dr. Nicole LePera: The Holistic Psychologist on Why You Feel Stuck in Your Relationships + What to Do About It
Habits and Hustle
Introduction
This chapter explores the effects of childhood trauma on our relationships and behaviors as adults, including the role of stress hormones on memory and the impact of relational trauma.
It's shocking how many people feel lonely in their relationships, even in seemingly picture-perfect ones. Especially in a place like LA, when it looks like someone has it all, but then you speak to people and they’re really dissatisfied and lonely in their relationships. How do we overcome this? That’s what we explore in this episode of the Habits & Hustle podcast with Dr. Nicole Lepera, AKA the Holistic Psychologist.
Dr. Nicole LePera dives into why we don’t have a picture perfect relationship and what we can do to deepen and feel satisfied in our relationships. She also discusses the profound impact of childhood trauma and memory suppression on adult relationships, the possibility of shifting trauma bonds and dysfunctional relationship patterns to create more secure, authentic connections, the importance of effective communication about shared goals, and a commitment to personal growth and change for optimizing your relationships.
Dr Nicole LePera is a holistic psychologist, and author of the number one international bestseller, How to Do the Work. She received traditional training in clinical psychology at Cornell University and The New School of Social Research.
What we discuss:
(0:00:01) - The concept of relational trauma and memory suppression and how these can influence adult behavior and relationships
(0:08:50) - Understanding the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships, including the patterns we unconsciously repeat from our upbringing
(0:19:10) - The difficulty of breaking patterns of behavior passed down through generations and the role of the nervous system in these behaviors
(0:23:39) - Attraction and love languages, and how to adjust our patterns of attraction to prevent making the same decisions repeatedly
(0:32:33) - How trauma bonds can shift and the steps to move from a dysfunctional relationship to one that is more secure and authentic
(0:37:46) - The challenges of breaking generational patterns of behavior and the importance of reconnecting with oneself to foster deeper connections in relationships
(0:50:16) - The dynamics of turning a professional relationship into a personal one, and the feelings, conflicts, communication issues, and struggles that come with it
(0:56:26) - The unique dynamics of a three-person relationship and the challenges that come with it
(1:05:29) - The growth of the global community platform and its benefits
(1:15:27) - The importance of self-care in parenting and the significance of showing children how to take care of their own needs
(1:21:03) - The importance of secure connections with parents in understanding adult relationships
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Find more from Jen:
Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/
Instagram: @therealjencohen
Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books
Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement
Learn more from Dr. Nicole LePera:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theholisticpsychologist
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheHolisticPsychologist
Website: https://theholisticpsychologist.com/
Book: https://howtobetheloveyouseek.com/
Tour Tickets: https://howtobetheloveyouseek.com/events/
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