How Can I Heal From This?

i used to do this as part of a a bunch of behaviors that i had to heel. If i was trying to guilt someone that i loved into stopping behavior, what was the benefit of that for me? Well, the benefit would have been, they would stop the behaviour so that i wouldn't be angry. So how could i heal from this? I could just be honest and say, look, i'm angry when you do that. You know, that may not have been a nice thing to say still, but it wouldhave been honest. That's what i used to do. And certainly i stop that behavior, because that is so hurtful and destructive to a relationship. And