Suicidal Thoughts

I don't think i've gone more than one or two years without being hospitalized. Mentally, you're suffering all the while sort of putting on a performance in your personal life. Also at work, you're making people laugh. Was it ever a vacation to go to work and focus on something that wasn't just the pain? For me, it was more reason being rational about things. Obviously it was irrational, but my head rational at the time. I dare not say that my experience is like every one else who has had a suicidal thought. It's very individualistic to that person's mental health in the situation that they are in.