Is It Because My Dad's by Polar?

I'm so neurotic that i told i never wanted shrink to tell me. I was like these ar like a grievance. But is tit because, cause my dad's by polar? And is it because you enjoyed the e, the the mania too much? No, i hated the mania. Like, ihave no sense of a really. I've no kind of muscle memory for joy. Nw, what about yor childhode, memories always uncomfortable. Never, you know, it's all my child and memories like, all white. You're just always fighting against it. A by poler one, by poler two. Super by pole can be mixture between