How Does Sham Interact With Our Feeling of Homecoming?

How does shame interact with our sense of social belonging and in the erotic way? How do we motivate ourselves, like, through the fires of eroticism, to start allowing shame to burn? Letting go of expectations is a really supportive and beautiful, energetic feedback loop that can happen. And i think every time we see ourselves being judgmental or critical of someone else, even if it's out loud,  we stand to be a little looser. You know, there's no denying that we all have these funny dialogues in our mind.