Have you ever put on a face mask, expecting it to solve all your mental health problems?

That seems…unrealistic, but it’s what self-care marketing tells us: get your self-care right, and all your difficulties will evaporate.

This week on It’s OK, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care, breaks down what “self-care” actually means when we’re living in a complex, capitalistic world. It’s an exploration of grief, burnout, and exhaustion, and what it takes to care for yourself inside systems that repeatedly ignore their part in your suffering.

In this episode we cover:

Why self-care doesn’t work
How hope is different than optimism
Does looking for your own answers mean you have to do things alone?
Accepting help as a bid for connection
How Dr. Lakshmin’s definition of boundaries can help you practice real self-care

We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.

Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.

Follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief

Related episodes:

Rage Becomes Her (and by “her” I mean US) with Soraya Chemaly

Living with Chronic Illness: A Conversation for Everyone with a Body with Sarah Ramey.

About our guest:

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a psychiatrist, a clinical assistant professor at George Washington University School of Medicine, and the founder and CEO of Gemma, the women’s mental health community centering impact and equity. She has spent thousands of hours taking care of women struggling with burnout, despair, depression, and anxiety in her clinical practice. Her debut non-fiction book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included), is available in e-book, hardcover, and audiobook narrated by Pooja.

About Megan:

Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

Additional Resources:

Read “Hope is Not a Thing to Have – It’s a Skill to Practice” at Oprah Daily

Read “How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers” at The New York Times

Read “Saying ‘No’ Is Self-Care for Parents” at The New York Times

Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here.

Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

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