Practical Tips: CARS Method and EAR Statements

Ever been around someone who was ultra-suspicious? Not just the typical accusatory behaviors, but someone who suspects conspiracies against them or that someone doesn’t like them or feels a certain way about them ... all based on an assumption or jumping to conclusions from a facial expression? Well, you just may have been around someone with a paranoid high conflict personality.

This type of personality is driven by a fear of being betrayed, so the rules of their operating system direct them to be suspicious of others. Once their fear button is triggered, whether perceived or real (it feels very real to them), they attack first. The behaviors of those with high conflict personalities all come out at that time: blame, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors. Bill and Megan discuss the paranoid high conflict personality type, including:

• Their need to be in control of their surroundings and fear of being betrayed and need to hold grudges
• The differences between paranoid high conflict personality and other paranoias
• How to spot people who may have a paranoid high conflict personality
• Tips for interacting with them, using an EAR Statement™ and BIFF Response®
• Statistics on Paranoid Personality Disorder and Paranoid HCPs in the U.S

Being around someone like this can wear on your nerves and become draining, but it doesn’t have to. In this episode, we continue talking about the five types of people who can ruin your life. In the previous three episodes we talked about Narcissistic, Antisocial and Histrionic HCPs, or high conflict people. In this episode we are talking about Paranoid HCPs. This one has always been a little confusing for people because the other four types can also appear to have paranoia, and other mental health disorders may also experience the same. Paranoid Personality Disorder is a little different.

Links & Other Notes

BOOKS

• 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
• It’s All Your Fault
• Calming With EAR
• BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People

ARTICLES

• Possible HCP kills former boss, insures lawyer after mediation
• Can high conflict people change?
• Compassion for high conflict people

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (01:42) - Paranoid HCPs
• (02:25) - What is Paranoid Personality Disorder?
• (08:35) - Paranoia in HCPs
• (09:48) - Stats
• (10:24) - How They Present Themselves
• (11:48) - The Fear That Drives Them
• (12:47) - Relationships With Paranoids
• (14:30) - Social?
• (18:05) - In the Workplace
• (20:05) - What NOT to Do
• (21:11) - Revenge
• (22:08) - In Summary
• (25:06) - Dealing With Paranoid HCPs
• (28:19) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline HCPs