The Unhappiness of Blacking Out

I think if anybody is ever blacking out there's like some unhappiness happening. Sure like you can't just be blacking out for a good time. When I used to blackout I really enjoyed that feeling of losing all my inhibitions and even though the older I got I would be more embarrassed of things that happened whereas when I was younger it would just be funny. And then as I got older now when I start to drink too much so like if I drink a bottle of wine and I start to feel like I'm losing control I hate it. Yeah. And I I really like drinking two glasses of wine or three glasses of wine but then I don't I no longer look forward