21.02: My Process is Not Your Process
Writing Excuses
Lower friction with tiny habits
Mary describes using an everyday calendar and tiny actions to make progress feel attainable.
This week, we turn our attention to one of the most stubborn traps writers fall into: assuming someone else’s process should work for you. Building on last episode’s conversation about intentions, the hosts shift the focus from what you should do to how you can figure out what actually works, starting with observation, pattern-spotting, and a little self-compassion.
The discussion moves through practical ways to lower friction and build supportive rituals—linking tasks together, listening to physical and emotional cues, and treating yourself like your own best assistant. Along the way, the hosts emphasize that your reactions are data, your process is allowed to change, and permission to be human is often the missing tool. The goal isn’t discipline for discipline’s sake, but a writing life that adapts to you.
Homework:
Make a list of all the steps in your writing process, starting with the smallest, most concrete actions and working outward to the bigger ones. Then go through that list and notice which parts are serving you, which aren’t, and which you might want to change—without worrying yet about how to change them.
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Credits: Your hosts for this episode were Erin Roberts, DongWon Song, and Mary Robinette Kowal. It was produced by Emma Reynolds, recorded by Marshall Carr, Jr., and mastered by Alex Jackson.
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