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The Causal Arrow in Addiction
I had been experimenting with drugs just like as a psychonaut person for a while but my use felt exploratory and not really abusive or addictive. I think that when I began having really powerful experiences from using these drugs, I was really desperate to maintain those experiences and to re-access them. My addiction stemmed from that repetitive use that came from that desperation to get back to that place. So looking back, do you feel like what happened is that you kind of had developed a drug problem over time and then unfortunately that could be compounded by a second problem which is the mania or would you think of it differently?