Shame and early sexual self-talk

SHAMELESS CARE: Sex positive healthcare | Use the code LOVER for $15 off

Swinging, STI testing breakthroughs, and oxytocin-fueled desire—Robert shares how ethical non-monogamy reshaped his life and inspired him to build sex-positive telehealth care with Shameless Care.

🔗 ROBERT LINKS | shamelesscare.com / @shameless.care

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📈 STATS | 40s straight cis man, ethically non-monogamous, in a committed long-term relationship, founder & CEO of Shameless Care (use code LOVER), from Illinois, into: all things sensual, flirting with new people, passionate connections in swinger and/or poly spaces, sex-positive healthcare, sexual health, and helping people overcome shame, misinformation, and barriers to sexual wellness.

⏰ TIME CODE

00:00 Safety is sexy, ethical non-monogamy, and early shame around sex

05:02 Flirting as foreplay, swinger-club dynamics, and the power of reciprocal energy

10:11 90s sex ed, porn memories, and first-touch confusion

14:17 Discovering swinging and realizing casual sex isn’t “dangerous”

19:24 Jealousy, self-improvement through ENM, and explicit verbal consent

23:40 How explicitness builds sexy confidence

27:01 The gonorrhea scare that exposed massive STI-testing gaps and sparked Shameless Care

32:29 Throat-herpes, medical dismissal, and the fight to get proper swabs

38:20 Oral-only gonorrhea, common missed infections, and why thorough panels matter

42:07 At-home testing realities and why sex-positive telehealth needs real doctors

44:33 Doxy-PEP, ED meds, and the science behind oxytocin for bonding and presence

49:54 Nasal and sublingual oxytocin, subtle shifts in energy, and enhancing date-night connection

54:24 Topical sildenafil cream, increased blood flow, and treating sex like playful research

59:15 No subscriptions, personalized care, patient advocacy, and how to request proper tests

1:04:21 Doctor discomfort, stigma, the Gen-Z sex recession, and hopes for a more loving sexual culture

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🤩 TOPICS | Anal swabs, anxiety around first-time sex, asymptomatic infections, at-home STI kits, blood spot testing, casual sex fears, chlamydia testing, communication skills, condom conversations, consent culture, dating nerves, deep kissing moments, dental dam scarcity, dried blood cards, ED medication experiences, explicit boundaries, female arousal cream, female lubrication changes, genital touching confusion, gonorrhea exposure, group event etiquette, healing from STI stigma, herpes throat infection, hookup health concerns, itch-and-scratch desire buildup, kissing buildup, lifestyle club etiquette, male sexual anxiety, medical dismissal, misdiagnosed infections, mycoplasma genitalium, naked resort mingling, non-sexual touch bonding, oral sex risks, oral swab testing, orgasm bonding hormones, performance nerves, penis sensitivity anxiety, pleasure research mindset, polyamorous dating, positive consent check-ins, post-sex communication, pregnancy scares, pubic hair discovery moment, routine STI panels, self-advocacy in clinics, shame unlearning, swinger party misconceptions, swing-community communication, telehealth STI treatment, testing advocacy tools, topical sildenafil, trick-among-us (trichomonas), unprotected oral realities, verbal consent scripts, vulva exploration moments, yeast infection concerns.

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