We all make mistakes in life. When we do it's important to take appropriate responsibility, feel the "wince," and make amends as we can. But after we've done that...then what? Many people find it easier to forgive others than they do to truly forgive themselves, and it's not uncommon to be burdened by excessive shame and guilt that has outlived its expiration date.

On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore forgiveness, including how we can forgive ourselves. This includes common myths and misunderstandings about forgiveness, the difference between healthy and unhealthy forms of shame and remorse, coming to terms with what we've done, and a roadmap to achieving (self-)forgiveness. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:05: Assumptions, approval, and what forgiveness is and is not

7:45: What does healthy remorse look like?

10:00: Forrest exploring a dream about appropriate remorse

13:00: Our internalized justice system

17:00: More on dreams and internal parts

24:25: Aspects of unhealthy remorse

27:30: How to move through a recurring cycle of shame and unhealthy remorse

32:30: Proportionality, defensiveness, intention, and owning your mistakes

41:00: Clean pain and dirty pain

46:55: Some concrete practices

51:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! For just the cost of a cup of coffee a month you can support the show, and receive a variety of bonuses in return.

Sponsors:

Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!

Access over 30 at-home lab tests from Everlywell, and head to everlywell.com/beingwell for twenty percent off your next test.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices