The 11 Apostles Preached a Supernatural Experience of Jesus

There's a trope that the visions of those you've been persecuting seems to linger for people who have done, you know, atrocities beyond what their conscious maybe normally would want them to do. So I feel like the charge of speculation would apply here because my question would be because this will go back as I feel like like you're very critical of the idea that the apostles either believe this or they were out preaching it. But is there anything in Paul's letters where he says that he was grieved or saddened by what he was doing prior to his conversion? That is not so no,. He'll answer your question because I you owe you a guess or no answer to that. Or whatever