"I didn't want to admit it for a long time but yes that's eventually this didn't happen right away I was already having these problems in Baghdad that I couldn't read," he says. "There is no one there's no seal that haven't been injured this or the other way in Baghdad including yourself and you know it sometimes we don't tell it." He adds: "Life in America seemed distant and almost unreal the real was here in Baghdad in combat and I loved it"