"I was so close to losing it. The irony is for me to be looking for the origin and nature of life," he says. "You never can think about tomorrow in the terms of the present." You know what is going to happen if you go through what you want to do, writes Reki Matsumoto. For some reason I still don't know why but I'm still here. And this is a message that I carried all my life", she adds.