I think it was a slow accumulation of knowing how free I could be in the present moment. And then knowing how brutal and self critical my head could be when I got lost in. Um, I remember giving a, I was introducing someone into a hole of about 500 people and I felt like I really messed it up here. You just like, what the fuck did I just say for the last 30 seconds? It's that kind of sick feeling in your stomach where you can't even look people in the eye because they knew he was an idiot. So I think moments like that where I'm just like, Oh, right Yeah.

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