I always encourage people to go to funerals I think it's a good thing for the survivors and it's good for you. Children understand death and can talk about it more easily than adults can because children see a bug crawling on them and what do they do  and now it's no longer crawling right there's this sort of wow that which was alive is now dead. There's something final about this that children into it from a very early age. And so bringing them into funerals and things is really important. Just one other thought is one way that the ours more Andy genre was described is as a great drama where the dying person is the central actor in this great drama. And