Intro

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk football, travel & language ahead of Liverpool vs Man Utd. John reflects on his surprise facial in Latvia, Ali recalls a twist in the tail at Wales-Belgium, and Ian faces John in Clash of the Commentators. Plus, a plethora of unintended pub names from football commentary, and more additions to the Great Glossary. Suggestions welcome - WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

03:30 John’s airport facial 07:15 How to make World Cup qualifying more interesting 14:25 Twist in the tail at Wales-Belgium 19:55 Visibility problems for Ian 22:25 Liverpool-Man Utd leads the 5 Live billing 26:40 Will Ian win again in Clash of the Commentators? 36:05 More perils of off-tube broadcasting 38:25 Unintended pub names 43:35 Great Glossary of Football Commentary

BBC Sounds / 5 Live Premier League commentaries: Sat 18 Oct 1500 Man City v Everton, Sat 18 Oct 1500 Crystal Palace v Bournemouth on Sports Extra, Sat 18 Oct 1730 Fulham v Arsenal, Sun 19 Oct 1400 Tottenham v Aston Villa, Sun 19 Oct 1630 Liverpool v Man Utd.

Glossary so far:

DIVISION ONE Bosman, Cruyff Turn, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Hibs it, Onion bag, Panenka, Rabona, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep.

DIVISION TWO Ball stays hit, Coat is on a shoogly peg, Daisycutter, Has that in his locker, Howler, One for the cameras, Played us off the park, Purple patch, Root and branch review, Row Z, Stramash, Taking one for the team, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike.

UNSORTED 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Bread and butter, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Cultured/Educated left foot, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Fox in the box, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Nutmeg, Opposite number, Park the bus, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Put their laces through it, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Taking one for the team, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Towering header, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, Winger in their pocket, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.