Effective Limit-Setting in High Conflict Situations

Navigating High Conflict Personalities in the Workplace

In this episode of "It's All Your Fault", Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy are joined by special guest Cherolyn Knapp to answer listener questions about dealing with high conflict personalities at work. As experts in the field of high conflict resolution, Bill and Megan provide valuable insights and strategies for managing challenging workplace interactions.

Identifying and Responding to High Conflict Behavior
The hosts and their guest discuss how high conflict individuals may present in the workplace, noting that they don't always yell or argue overtly. Passive-aggressive behavior, spreading rumors, and sabotaging others are common tactics used by high conflict personalities. Bill and Megan emphasize the importance of recognizing these behaviors and offer techniques for responding effectively, such as using "EAR" statements (empathy, attention, respect) to connect with the person and defuse the situation.

Supporting Targets of High Conflict Behavior
Megan, Bill, and Cherolyn address a listener's question about feeling unsupported when targeted by a high conflict individual at work. They acknowledge the pain and difficulty of such situations and provide guidance on how to cope. The hosts suggest looking at personal choices and options, seeking support from others, and considering whether the current work environment is ultimately sustainable for one's well-being.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can I protect my team from a high conflict individual in another department?
• What does high conflict behavior look like when it's not overt yelling or arguing?
• How can I get support when I'm being targeted by a high conflict person at work?
• What role do enablers play in perpetuating high conflict behavior?

Key Takeaways:

• High conflict behavior isn't always loud and aggressive; it can be passive-aggressive, such as spreading rumors or sabotaging others.
• Using "EAR" statements (empathy, attention, respect) can help defuse high conflict situations and connect with the person.
• When targeted by a high conflict individual, it's important to assess your choices and options, and seek support.
• Enablers, whether supervisors, coworkers, or something else, can perpetuate high conflict behavior by siding with the high conflict person.

This episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating the challenges of high conflict personalities in the workplace. Whether you're a manager looking to protect your team or an individual feeling targeted by a high conflict coworker, Bill, Megan, and Cherolyn’s expertise can help you identify problematic behaviors, respond effectively, and prioritize your well-being.

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • Our New World of Adult Bullies
  • BIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace Communications
  • It’s All Your Fault at Work! Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People
• TRAINING
  • Register for New Ways for Work Training (for coaches, HR, EAP, and others who help people resolve conflict in the workplace)
    • April 8 and 10 (12pm - 4pm Pacific)
    • October 21 and 23 (2pm - 6pm Pacific)
• COACHING & CONSULTATION
  • New Ways for Work Coaching (for employees or anyone in the workplace)
  • Consulting (for management or for anyone wanting in-depth consultation on your unique case)
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (01:34) - Welcome Back Cherolyn
• (03:05) - Listener Question #1: Dealing With a Workplace Bully
• (09:38) - EAR Statements and Connecting
• (11:57) - What to Say
• (13:57) - How High Conflict ‘Presents’
• (17:04) - Passive Aggressive
• (19:36) - How to Deal With Them
• (22:43) - Dealing With Abuse Enablers
• (28:55) - New Ways for Work
• (35:50) - New Ways for Work Leaders
• (39:42) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Another Guest!