Aging, ADHD, and Letting Go with Jami Shapiro
Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
Loss of scaffolding after retirement
Discussion of how retirement removes external structure, increasing overwhelm and decision demands for ADHD adults.
Aging with ADHD often hides in the background of our conversations, even though so many of us feel its effects every day. In this episode, we bring it forward with help from Jami Shapiro, whose work sits right at the intersection of ADHD, transitions, and later-life planning. She’s a senior move manager, ADHD coach, and the voice behind Grandma Has ADHD. Her mix of humor, candor, and lived experience sets the tone for a conversation that feels both comforting and disarming.
Jami’s ADHD diagnosis arrived in her mid-40s, long after she had built a career, raised children, and weathered major life changes. The bigger surprise came later: realizing her mother had been living with ADHD as well, completely undiagnosed into her seventies. That discovery reshaped not only Jami’s understanding of her family history but also the emotional patterns she had carried for decades. It softened old misunderstandings and gave her and her mother a way to talk to each other that hadn’t existed before.
From there, the conversation widens into the many transitions that come with midlife and beyond—downsizing, empty rooms once filled by children, changing routines, and the simple pressure of making decisions when every choice feels weighty. Jami explains how emotional intensity, uncertainty, and decision fatigue show up more sharply for ADHD adults, especially as responsibilities shift and long-established structures fall away. She walks us through what makes these transitions overwhelming and what actually helps when “just start somewhere” doesn’t land.
We also spend time on the parent–child dynamic that emerges when adult children try to help their aging parents with organizing or downsizing. Jami gives a clear look at why these roles easily tangle, how shame gets triggered on both sides, and why a neutral guide often makes the work calmer for everyone involved. Her stories from years of senior move management reveal patterns that many families will recognize instantly.
There’s also a practical side to this conversation: how to create a floor plan before a move, how to sort sentimental objects without spiraling, how to use photos and “family show-and-tell” conversations to preserve memories, and how to stay grounded when technology becomes a barrier. Jami talks openly about scams, tech overwhelm, and the very real worries older adults carry about cognitive decline—topics that are easier to avoid than to name, but essential for keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe.
The heart of this episode is simple: learning about ADHD later in life doesn’t erase the years behind you, but it can change how you interpret them. It can ease old guilt, untangle family stories, and give you permission to approach the next chapter with more clarity and less self-blame. Jami’s work is full of that spirit, and her guidance makes the process of aging with ADHD feel less isolating and more like something we can navigate together.
Links & Notes
- (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
- (01:02) - Support the Show on Patreon
- (01:48) - Introducing Jami Shapiro • Aging with ADHD
- (11:04) - Transitions
- (21:21) - Scams and Cognitive Decline
- (25:48) - Giving Up vs Letting Go
- (30:54) - Where to Start?
- (36:50) - Technology
- (40:26) - What age is "Older?"
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