Building Self Trust in Relationships

i think in closing ourselves off, to never allow our selves to be turned on by an experience that isn't our partner, i think what we're doing is. It's kind o like a shower head, and there's all these opportunities and little holes that the water comes out of. What we're often doing is like plugging up these holes, trying to make sure that we never feel anything for any one or anything outside of our partner. And our life force gets trampled. I spent so many years turned off a because i didn't want to get turned on and not wheeled that turn on responsibly.