I'm Not Hopeless, but I Want to Die

"I went from crying and being like, i'm not hoping to being suicidal based on a tablet that i started taking," she says. "It wasn't so much like, oh, i had 12 panic attacks a day... sometimes the gaps were so minute." She was diagnosed with an irregular heart beat but doctors said it would take about a month for her to get better. 'That's just brutally cruel,' writes Amy Adams. "'Worrying about it doesn't work at all' is one of the worst things you can say to someone who has been through what I've gone through,'" she adds.