We aret to cable park. So you could do that, you could try 20 or 30 times without frustrating anyone other than him, a, right? And, and that's kind of like the way we, daves y, oh, if we're good at dating, we're gon to be god at marriage. Oh, had this guy tell me this oncea was good. So do you understand what i'm saying? Is like, just because you're, you're, you accomplished in one thing, they're two completely different things, caus dating

is a world, like, it's e came up with it, yes. Right? And then marriage is god's idea a word, they're very

different. Yes. So, ok, so let me finish this thought. I want to come back to that. That's a great thought, too. This guy told me, k, he's going, he was going through premarital a counselling at our church and a, and he wasjust, he's really, he's honestly pretty arrogant, and had given over to some pride in his life. He was on his fifth marriage, so hes about to marry another woman, the fifth woman. And and he was just so over the premarital counselling. And he said, guys, i've been married five. This will be my fifth time. I've been married four times. I think i know what i'm doing. Literally, those words came out of his mouth, and he wasn't kidding. He was not joking. I believe it. He said, i've been married four times. I think i know what i'm doing. And that's really, that's the way we we compare dating to marriage, as we think, gosh, you know, people want to be with me. I've been on all these dates. I think i know what i'm doing. And it's like, you don't realize you've trained poorly. I'm sick seven. Like, i've always played basketball, been to basketball camps, all the things like, you know, people look at me like, h he be great a basket ball. I would practise by myself at the house. And so i'd go up for the reboundn i just come down like denis rodman, cause i'd saw seen denis robin and iwould just come down with the ball, come down with the ball. And so then when i got in the game, i would always rebound the ball and bring it down. Well, when you bring the ball down, you might as well be five too, because anybody can steal. It doesn't matter that you're five, you're six, seven, youre bringing the ball down. But i all that mussel memory was there. And so i didn't know how to play the game, right? And so when we date, and is like we jump into this relationship until we like em any more, and we jump out, you're not training for marriage. You're training for divorce. Youre you're really training to be terrible at marriage. And so dating, to kathy's point a second ago, it's a new idea, and we don't realize this, like, the vast majority of marriages in the history of the world did not come to be because of dating, right? There were arranged marriages for the longest time. And then all kinds of sometimes its family arranged marriages. Sometimes its it's, you know, aa, a shared person could be a matchmaker. All these different things and all these different cultures. Dating. That word dating has existed for about a hundred and 20 years. It entered the english language as a euphemism for prostitution. To go on a date meant to exchange sexual favors for an that demonic, if i can be so bold as to say, satanic stronghold, is still very much attached to that word. Because you look at how the world dates, and they're exchanging sexual favors for an experience, is still very much baked into our culture. I'm not trying to kiss dating good bye. I am very much saying, asfoll s of jesus, we have to redeem this world word, and do it very different than our culture does, very different than our world does. So how do you do that? We're going to get back to your initial question, which we've left eor a long time. This is, everybody should lean and get your pen and pad and truly, like, test this, like, tell me i'm wrong if i'm wrong, like, educate me. I'll stop saying it. Truly i sat with with a friend of mine, graduated from harvard, undergroud from stanford, brilliant strategist. I mean, was, was the lead strategist for a billion dollar hedge fundye, what did i tell you? Oh, what did ye tell me?

Es, never miss im opert.

I said, brilliant. Not maronic, a brilliant a and so he, he just said, a strategy is the simple it knowing where you're at, knowing where you want to be, and formulating a plan to get there. So it's like you have to have a death grip on where you're at. You have to really know where you want to be, and then you begin to put a plan together to go from where you're at to where you want to be. So if you desire marriage, right, you say, ok, here is where i'm at. Like, what is the baggage that have right now? From from my upbringing, from my parents, abandonment, abuse, any adultery, fornication, sexual acts, o satamer's ponography, addictions, hurts, habits, hang ups. Like, i want to really understand where im mat like, how is my relationship with jesus? How am i growing in the faith? Like, where am i right now as a person? Like, how am i doing? You know, like, is it, like, what in my life? Like, where, where do i need to improve before i go latch on to somebody else? And so, hay, let's do this life together. Because so often that's what people do.