Applying Choice Theory to Couples

Lesser-Known Influences That Shaped James Tripp Pt 1
Three Principles, Choice Theory, & Impact Therapy

In this episode of Changeworking, Ruckus and James Tripp dig into three formative influences that don’t always get named — but quietly shaped the way James thinks about change and human agency.

You’ll hear James unpack:

• Three Principles — why thought creates experience, how insight dissolves suffering, and why this work resists formalization

• Choice Theory — finding power where people believe they have none, especially in relationships

• Impact Therapy — why sessions must do something beyond discussion or explanation

Along the way, James shares personal turning points, hard lessons from client work, and the moment he realized that no single paradigm — no matter how elegant — works for everyone.

This episode is especially valuable if you’re a coach, therapist, or changeworker who wants deeper discernment about when to use a model, when not to, and how to stay human-first rather than technique-driven.

Part 2 continues the conversation with more of James’ key influences.

📚 Resources Mentioned

• Clarity — Jamie Smart

• Modelo — Jack Pransky

• Counseling with Choice Theory — William Glasser

• Impact Therapy — Ed Jacobs

• The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk

Library of Books James mention:
https://bookshop.org/shop/clientshifts 

📌 TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – Welcome & Setup
Ruckus introduces the episode and explains why this conversation became a multi-part series on James’s lesser-known influences.

00:45 – Three Principles: Beyond “The Map Is Not the Territory”
James connects NLP’s foundational idea to the deeper insight at the heart of Three Principles.

02:00 – Thought Is Not Reality
How suffering is created by mind-made experience — and why recognizing this can be profoundly liberating.

03:30 – “You Can’t Let Go of a Thought — But It Can Let Go of You”
Why insight, not technique, is the engine of change in Three Principles.

05:00 – Mind, Thought, and Consciousness Explained
James maps Three Principles onto Ericksonian ideas of conscious and unconscious mind.

06:15 – Why Three Principles Is an Experiential Truth (Not an Idea)
The difference between understanding it and actually seeing it in moments that matter.

07:00 – The Origin Story: Sydney Banks’ Awakening
How a single throwaway line sparked a radical shift that later became Three Principles.

09:00 – From Insight to Movement
How Banks’ conversations led others into deep wellbeing without formal techniques.

10:15 – “This Sounds Like Philosophy — How Is It a Modality?”
Ruckus presses on the practical application problem.

11:00 – Three Principles as Conversational Hypnosis
James explains why many Three Principles practitioners are unknowingly excellent hypnotists.

12:30 – NLP, Erickson, and Three Principles Cross-Pollination
Why background skill in facilitation can dramatically amplify Three Principles conversations.

13:45 – Is There Training in Three Principles?
Why there’s no official pathway — and how people actually learn it.

15:00 – Books vs. Transmission
Whether insight requires resonance with another person — or can happen through reading alone.

16:45 – James’ Personal Breakthrough with Three Principles
A moment where James realized he thought he understood — but didn’t yet see.

18:00 – When Three Principles Isn’t Enough
A pivotal client case that revealed the limits of a one-paradigm approach.

20:00 – Trauma, Memory, and Why No One Model Fits Everyone
How James reintegrated trauma-based work without abandoning Three Principles.

22:00 – How Three Principles Changed James’ Voice and Presence
Less reactivity, more grounding, and a noticeable shift over time.

23:30 – Why Three Principles Is Hard to “Explain” Online
Ruckus reflects on the difficulty of finding a clear introduction to the work.

24:30 – Recommended Entry Points
Why Clarity (Jamie Smart) and Modelo (Jack Pransky) are strong starting places.

27:00 – Choice Theory: William Glasser’s Core Contribution
Choice Theory distilled to its essence: where you have power.

29:00 – Circumstances vs. Choice
Why empowerment comes from identifying even the smallest available choice.

30:15 – Choice Theory in Couples Work
How shifting from blame to contribution transforms relational dynamics.

33:00 – The Solving Circle
Rules for conflict resolution that eliminate blame and restore agency.

35:00 – Identifying With “The Eye That Chooses”
A formative coaching insight James received early in his career.

36:10 – A Client Story: Panic, Collapse, and Choice
A powerful moment where reconnecting to choice created an instant state shift.

40:00 – When Confidence Collapses Again
Why relapse doesn’t mean failure — and how reframing restores stability.

41:45 – Impact Therapy: What Actually Makes Sessions Work
Why impact, not elegance or theory, determines effectiveness.

42:45 – Eclecticism Over Dogma
Using any model that works — without allegiance to one framework.

43:45 – Final Takeaways & Part 2 Tease
Ruckus closes and previews the continuation of James’ influences.