I Live Here. What the F-?

"I owe that idiot my life, please New York, don't ever change. You see, for just over a year I shared an apartment with the biggest idiot on the face of the earth," he says. "He's like football tackles this guy onto the carpet and just starts wailing on him." He then sits on the KO'd shooter's back, tells the other guys to get out of his apartment and tells me to dial him on one one. Only when the cops show up to arrest the guy he'd managed to detain, did he realize he'd been stabbed in the shoulder.