It's Time for Dark Maga to Take Command

Former congressman madison cawthorne reacted with his usual grace to his loss in this week's primary election. Cawthorne lost the support of the g o p establishment after telling the press that senior republicans had cocane fueld orgies, and they turned on him because snitches get primaried. The big surprise was when committee member mat gates noted if his girl friend lived on mercury, she'd technically be 24 years old.