How Do Men Individuate from Their Mothers?

'Heal The Boy, So The Man Can Appear'

This message lies at the heart of my next guest's work: Ryan Moresby-White.

As a relationship coach and advocate for men’s mental health, Ryan is devoted to helping men uncover and heal the root causes of their suffering—unresolved childhood trauma, internalized shame, and the emotional disconnection so many men carry in silence.

His mission is clear:

To guide men into a deeper relationship with themselves, to help them face the wounds of their past with compassion and courage, and to support them in reclaiming a more integrated, authentic expression of masculinity—one that holds both strength and softness, direction and depth.

Born in South Africa and raised in Australia, Ryan appeared to be doing everything “right” on the surface nearly a decade ago—building a successful career in the construction industry and relentlessly following the path he believed he was meant to take. Yet internally, the weight of living a façade began to wear on him.

Over time, it became clear that the high expectations placed on him growing up, the emotional disconnection within his family, and a deep fear of abandonment had quietly shaped his sense of self—leaving him with the belief that he was unworthy and unlovable. It wasn’t until he came face-to-face with his deep need for significance—and the emotional pain he had long been trying to mask—that he began the journey of unraveling his past and rebuilding himself from within."

It was during this pivotal time that it became clear to him: if we want lives of authenticity and freedom, we must address our early developmental stages and understand how they continue to influence us today.

In our conversation, Ryan and I dive deep into;

• His understanding of how we are shaped from a young age as boys, the stories we inherit, and the internalized shame that festers as a result of emotional wounding.

• We discuss how to move through this shame and also explore how our relationships with our mothers and fathers shape us—unpacking the mother wound and examining how Ryan worked through his relationship with his father, ultimately finding acceptance for the high demands placed on him from a young age.

• We discuss the critical role that cultivating nourishment as a discipline, along with the importance of brotherhood and community plays as essential pillars in fostering emotional resilience."

As I see it, this episode is a powerful one for any man looking to gain a deeper understanding of how our past shapes our present—impacting our relationships, professional lives, and connection to ourselves. It touches on essential pillars needed for a journey of restoration and healing and offers a glimpse into what’s possible when a man does this work.

And now let’s dive into this powerful and heart-led conversation with Ryan Moresby-White and me

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Connect with Ryan Moresby-White

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanmoresbywhite

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryan.moresbywhite/

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Connect with Alex Lehmann:

Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@HeartofManPodcast/featured

Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478

Email: alexlehmanncoaching@gmail.com

Interested in working with me 1:1? Apply here and book a free discovery call with me (1 spot available at present time): https://www.alexlehmann.co/11-coaching