My own mom didn't have that emotional connection with me at that time, so I didn't know a mother's love. And then my father, my father loved me and he cared for me. My dad had this over attachment to me to the point where I could almost do anything I wanted. It was just this weird dichotomy of different emotions and mindsets. That's what I and then I just really I felt most comfortable being alone. Because that was in one place, I guess I felt I felt safe when I look at it back then.

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