i was determined to make the very best use of those first crucial months. I wanted to know that i was doing whatever was quired to obtain optimal future results in the domain of child rearing. But this now began to seem to me like an astoundingly perverse way to approach spending time with a new born. Obviously, it mattered to keep half an eye on the future, but my son was here now and he would be zero years old for only one year. And i came to realize that i didn't want to squander these days of his actual existence by focusing solely how best to use them for the sake of his future ones. There are all sorts of worth while things we