I find this notion of empowered refusal really interesting because it's one vehicle through which we can claim and publicly state our values. I appreciate you giving some very specific guidance in terms of word choice. So don't is different than can't. And that helps us be definitive, helps us set clear boundaries and reduces the likelihood of pushback. You've shared some ideas about verbal things we can say to be empowered in our saying no. Are there non verbal components as well, things we do with our body and voice that can also help us say no?
Saying no can seem risky. We worry about offending others, damaging relationships, or hurting our own reputation. But as Vanessa Patrick says, no is an empowering word that gives us greater agency in our lives.
Saying no “is not a rejection of the other person,” says Patrick, a professor of Marketing at the University of Houston. Instead, it allows you to set boundaries and “[give] voice to what you believe and what you care about.” In her book, The Power of Saying No, Patrick introduces what she calls “empowered refusal,” a way of saying no that’s rooted in one’s identity, values, priorities, and preferences. “An empowered no,” she says, “is about us, not a rejection of the other person.”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Patrick and host Matt Abrahams explore how to use the power of no, how to move from strategy forming to strategy implementation, and how to resist momentary pleasures that distract us from our larger goals.
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More Resources:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessapatrick23/
https://uh.edu/news-events/stories/2023/june-2023/05012023-patrick-empowered-no.php