"I don't think we have to hate our coping mechanisms at all they can be helpful yeah and the last one is what could I do today one more step forward to heal mm adult me go oh this is so sweet I'm going to try to get through this," she says. "You visualize yourself now 44 year old me now going it's easier with my house [and] you ask him if it's okay to touch him or put your hand on his shoulder."