"38 is still borderline talkaholic isn't you know and I gave me something it was like a 40 but I intentionally spent time with her saying very little and trying to be quiet and create space" "My mom was very introverted and it turns out when I shut up and created that space for her she really opened up and of you know and she was happier so yeah it was just being intentional about talking less and listening more Thinking about it beforehand was it hard though do you feel unnatural does feel does it actually feel dare I say inauthentic?"
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Dan Lyons is the New York Times bestselling author of "Disrupted," "Lab Rats," and "STFU: The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in an Endlessly Noisy World." Dan was a writer for HBO's hit comedy, "Silicon Valley," and before that was a journalist at Newsweek, Forbes, and Fortune.
- The best sales reps spend 54 percent of the call listening and 46 percent talking. The worst reps talked 72 percent of the time. They made calls feel like conversations.
- A company called Gong uses machine learning software that analyzes sales calls to find out what works and what doesn’t. Its software vacuums up millions of hours of audio data and then analyzes it to figure out how the best sales reps operate. Gong’s customers use this information to train new sales reps and help underperformers improve. In 2017 Gong analyzed more than five hundred thousand calls and found that sales calls with the best close rates were ones in which reps knew how to be quiet and ask questions instead of making a sales pitch. To be precise, the most successful reps asked eleven to fourteen questions. Fewer than that, and you’re not digging deep enough. More than that, the call starts to feel like an interrogation.
- Eavesdropping on happiness: The research showed that people who spent more time having substantive conversations were happier than those who spent more time having small talk, and weather conversations.
- Always Say Less Than Necessary – "When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.” -- Robert Greene
- Researcher, Mehl joined a team that made a third big discovery: that people who suffer from anxiety and depression use the first-person singular pronouns I, me, and my more than other people.
- Go OUTSIDE – Harvard biologist Edward O. Wilson, who hypothesized that our affinity for the outdoors and love of living things have been hardwired into our DNA by evolution and exist as innate parts of our psychological and physiological makeup. Wilson calls this “biophilia,” a name derived from the ancient Greek words for “life” and “love.” It’s the reason people watch birds, melt at the sight of baby bunnies, travel to Yellowstone National Park to marvel at the bison, and rush to the window when a deer wanders into their yard. It’s why walking through Muir Woods among giant thousand-year-old redwood trees takes your breath away.
- The Talkaholic Scale Test – Prior to writing the book, Dan scored a 50 (the highest possible score)… Meaning he is a talkaholic. AFTER writing the book, he scored a 40, and Dan's wife scored him at 38.
- Life/Career Advice: Earn attention by doing great work, not by being loud and outlandish. It’s more lasting and will help you build better relationships and a great career.
