You really can address any issue if you can express your intent clearly. The first thing that we ask people to practise before opening their mouths in a crucial conversation is asking three questions. For gregg, how should his life be better? Why should he beg for me to have this conversation honestly with him? And until you've answered that question, you aren't ready to open your mouth. If you come in with selfish motives, the other person perceives it feels unsafe and then all the defences come up. But there are times that you'll make a judgment that the amount of skill in investment it would require to help somebody feel safe might be more than you're willing to invest. That's

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