My two guests on today's show flew to my home in Spokane to train me and my wife Jessa in some very special forms of breath work training that they specialize in, particularly for couples and tantric sex, but also for trauma, emotional release and much more.

Stefanos Sifandos describes himself as a relational alchemist, international speaker, and author who facilitates transformational growth through neuro-empowerment practices, an integration of spiritual praxis, and western psychology to improve, evolve, and enhance the quality of relationships. By integrating the best of Eastern and Western methodologies and philosophies, and using integrative techniques methods, Stefanos has created programs and systems to enhance the quality of your life, your relationship, and, in essence, bring them closer to their potential.

Christine Hassler is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, master coach, and podcast host who is committed to guiding people and organizations into their highest potential. She left her successful job as a Hollywood agent at 25 to pursue a life she could be passionate about, but it did not come easily. After being inspired by her own unexpected challenges and experiences, she realized her journey was indeed her destination. Her thirst for personal development continued as she dived into self-help books, attended seminars and retreats, got trained in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and eventually pursued her master’s degree in spiritual psychology with an emphasis in consciousness, health, and healing from the University of Santa Monica. As a student (and eventually, faculty member), Christine found that the principles she learned at the USM were foundational to her life and work. In 2005, she wrote her first book 20 Something 20 Everything, and then the 20 Something Manifesto in 2008. Her latest best-selling book, Expectation Hangover: Free Yourself from Your Past, Change Your Present and Get What You Really Want, is the guidebook for how to treat disappointment on the emotional, mental, behavioral, and spiritual levels.

The breath work course we discuss in detail in the show is their Breathwork and Meditation Series (use code BEN to save $30).

During this discussion, you'll discover: -What a "relational alchemist" is...08:15

Moving from an undesirable place in a relationship to what you love
What's not giving us clarity is a sense of unresolved pain, trauma, fear
First build safety, rapport, trust between Stefanos and his clients

-The role of breathwork in Stefanos' practice...10:15

Recommended by a friend during a turbulent personal time
Similar to Holotropic breathwork
Transcended analytical elements of the mind
Breathwork complemented psychedelics Stefanos had used
Magic Chocolate, Holotropic Breathwork, Grounding, Earthing, Vortexes, Crystals & More With Shamangelic Healer Anahata Ananda.
SOMA Breathwork protocol
Breathwork allows the user more control than things like psychedelics
Stanislav Grof
Not as much "rebuilding" is needed as is the case with psychedelics

-How Christine became a life coach...15:55

Began life coaching in 2004
Blend coaching with psychology
Identify the emotional root cause of an issue
"I've been my own best client"
Left successful career in Hollywood
Masked insecurity by being an overachiever
Wrote first book 20 Something 20 Everything shortly after becoming a life coach
Grain Brain by David Perlmutter
Labels create limitations

-How Christine and Stefanos met...23:00

Both were tired of uncommitted relationships prior to meeting
Nice to have the emotional intimacy prior to meeting physically
Article: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love

-The protocols Stefanos and Christine did with Ben and Jessa this past August...31:45

A few of the questions:
- "When I look at you, I see..."
- "When you look at me, I think you see..." (perception checking)
- "When you look at me, I want you to see..." (how we want to be perceived)
- "When I feel most angry, sad, etc."
Get the intimacy back in the relationship before talking about issues
Create safety so the other feels "seen"
Empathy through stillness

-The science behind breathwork that connects couples...38:00

Voluntary hyperventilation (alters brain chemistry)
Shared experience, sensory overload, brings about camaraderie together
Breathing does not alter the oxygenation of the blood
Regulating CO2, the main driver of respiration
Voluntary hyperventilation blow down CO2 levels
Respiratory alkalosis
Enter a non-ordinary state of consciousness
Access unconscious parts of the self you can't ordinarily access via breath technique
Unconscious memories that precede the relationship come to the forefront

-How the body resists anticipated change from breathwork or therapy...47:15

The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van der Kolk
Ben became very sick during Stefanos' and Christine's visit
We store experiences in the body; pattern-recognizing machine
Resistance vs. releasing

-Enhancing lovemaking with the tantric approach...52:05

Recapture the Rapture: Biohacking Sex, Tantric Breathwork, Plant Medicines For Orgasmic Enhancement & Much More! With Jamie Wheal
The Multiorgasmic Male by Mantak Chia
Tantra - Sex, Secrecy, Politics and Power in the Study of Religion by Hugh Urban
Tantra is far more than a sexual position
Synchronizing intention accessed via breath
Busyness creates a barrier to intimacy
Intentional practice of connection keeps a family together
Energetic connection leads to sex on a multi-dimensional level, beyond physical and emotional
Infidelity comes from boredom in a relationship (same-sex marriage)
Kundalini is at the root of tantra, begins in the sacrum (in the pelvis)
Stefanos and Christine's Breathwork and Meditation Series (use code BEN to save $30)

-How Christine got off antidepressants...1:03:00

Diet: No gluten, alcohol, sugar
Depression is oftentimes suppression and repression
Emotional release work vs. catharsis
Temper tantrum: Children self-soothe if you let them alone
Intuition was muted while on anti-depressants (her biggest asset as a life coach)
Not wise to quit meds cold turkey
Article: Dark Side of Antidepressants by Chris Kresser
Christine's podcast on the Joe Rogan show
Anxiety, anger, etc. are the body's alarm system (which we can miss with medication)
Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky
Primal sounding (screaming, guttural sounds)

-Rules for getting to the other side of arguments and disagreements...1:14:45 -And much more! Resources from this episode:

-Stefanos' and Christine's Breathwork and Meditation Series (use code BEN to save $30).

- Podcasts:

- Books and articles:

Grain Brain by David Perlmutter
The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van der Kolk
Tantra - Sex, Secrecy, Politics and Power in the Study of Religion by Hugh Urban
The Multiorgasmic Male by Mantak Chia
Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky
Is Gluten Killing Your Brain? by Chris Kresser
The 36 Questions That Lead to Love
Negative Effects of Antidepressants: Is There a Dark Side? by Chris Kresser

- Other resources:

Episode sponsors:

-Fit Soul: Get Ben Greenfield's newest book for FREE. Fit Soul is filled with practical, easy-to-understand tips, tricks, strategies, and solutions to care for your soul, attain true spiritual fitness, and find the happiness you have always craved and deserve.

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Got a question or comment for Stefanos, Christine, or myself? Drop a comment below, and one of us will reply!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

229 – The Battle of Edington

The British History Podcast

Negotiations and Conversion after the Battle of Edington

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