Exploring the Balance of Right-Sized Living

How do we take up our right size in the world? Not in some fixed, rigid way but as a responsive way of engaging with what is called for in each situation and context?

When we see that in some way ‘too big’ and ‘too small’ are both ways we try to control situations, maybe we can open to the emergence of something more fluid, more adaptive, and more sensitive in us. Something that asks of us to be of service to life, and responds accordingly.

Hosted, as always, by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace.

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Turning Towards Life, a week-by-week conversation inviting us deeply into our lives, is a live 30 minute conversation hosted by Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn of Thirdspace.  Find us on FaceBook to watch live and join in the lively conversation on this episode. You can find videos of every episode, and more about the project on the Turning Towards Life website, and you can also watch and listen on Instagram, YouTube, and as a podcast on Apple, Google, Amazon Music and Spotify.

Here's our source for this week:

Right-Sized

A response to Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s Big

What if this the year to learn to be right-sized?

I learned on the playground to 
Flinch from arrogance.

‘Please – don’t leave me. 
I promise not to get Too Big.’

But the cost, I’ve learned, is dear. 
Trading potential for false modesty, 
Dampening power with every apology, 
Neglecting my impeccable edges 
With every hedge.

But then I remember 
What the rabbis knew.

They stretched wide a red silk thread. 
At one end: Arrogance. 
At the other: Not humility – but 
Playing Too Small.

They knew playing small was just arrogance by a different name. 
Placing comfort above contribution. 
Our gifts withdrawn from the world, 
For the price of fitting in.

‘What if holding back is stealing?’

So in the middle, they placed a pair of right-sized shoes. 
Yours. 
Mine. 
The right-sizing that awaits us all.

What, I wonder, will it take for you to grow into your right size 
The one that seems Impossibly large, and 
Obnoxiously loud?

Clownish as these shoes seem now, prone to stumbling, 
At first you’ll feel the fool. 
Some People will have Things To Say. 
Some may even walk away. 
(In this modesty-mad world, they’re yet to clock 
that claiming your shoes 
does nothing to keep them from theirs.)

But every now and then you wake up to the truth. 
That it's the world that's wrong - not you. 
These too-small shoes will no longer do.

So take your credit where it’s due. 
And when no-one offers it – give yourself a spoon daily.

Take your space 
Trading in the apologies for gratitude.

Minimise your emotions no more – 
They too deserve to expand to the full.

Fill your circle with champions 
And learn to see yourself with the wonder of their eyes.

And when you hit your stride, and weather whatever, 
Give up the surprise.

When those shoes once vast grow snug, 
Be sure to celebrate well. 
Acknowledge yourself, and your people, and the view.

Until another pair of shoes calls to you 
Between arrogance and avoidance 
On that red silk string…

You Are Needed. 
And this is no time, no world, 
For stealing. 


Debbie Danon, Jan 2023
www.debbiedanon.com


Photo by Michael Wright on Unsplash