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S3E16 - 1st Page Feedback - Untitled by David

Death Of 1000 Cuts

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The Power of Drama in the Present Moment

Striking dramatic thing in the narrative present then on the second or third sentence It all started back in set second grade when he bought that hamster and we jump back into some less interesting piece of historical context. Samuel our Delaney calls this in his opinion one of the weakest fictional structures he encounters. The presumably accidental side effect of describing the motion of his lips but not the sound coming out of them is it gives the impression that your protagonist is so horny Thinking back to all the times they've smooched that she's gone hysterically deaf He's like I have to tell you something of huge importance, and she's like can't hear you But it's very Lips that

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