Becoming Your Secure Calming Parent

Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist who switched from practicing traditional talk psychotherapy to accelerated experimental dynamic psychotherapy. She teaches us that our core emotions are automatic and grounded in universal physical experiences. Her new book is called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self. In this episode, she goes into great instructional detail about how to identify and process your emotions in the moment. If you’ve ever felt a strong emotion (and who hasn’t), this episode will teach you how to move through it skillfully, rather than having your strong emotions wreak havoc in yourself and with others. 

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In This Interview, Hilary Jabobs Hendel and I Discuss…

• Her new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self
• The 7 C’s of our authentic self
• The science and biology of emotions
• The change triangle
• The Core Emotions: Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Joy, Excitement and Sexual Excitement
• The 3 Inhibitory Emotions: Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame
• How core emotions have energy and want to come up and out- to be expressed
• Inhibitory emotions dampening our core emotions 
• The difference between defenses and inhibitory emotions
• How to work The Change Triangle
• Trauma vs trauma
• The power of naming your emotions
• Our open-hearted state
• When our emotions overwhelm us, it can be helpful to have someone else process them
• Grounding and breathing
• The role of core emotions is to ready us for action so they are first physical sensations, traveling from the brain down the vegus nerve
• All core emotions have impulses associated with them
• How harmful self-criticism and self-judgment can be
• Relating to ourselves as a small child
• Healthy shame vs toxic shame

Hilary Jacobs Hendel Links

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