Parentification and Immigrant Dynamics

I don't remember when I first noticed Eldest Daughter content popping up in my various social media feeds, but like so many millennials, I loved a meme that seemed to REALLY SEE ME. Why yes, I am a consummate planner who somehow holds at least six people's yearly calendars in my head at once! Why yes, I am a perfectionist! WHY YES, I AM AN ELDEST DAUGHTER!

Does Eldest Daughter discourse give Eldest Daughters a means to communicate their (sometimes contradictory) feelings about their familial and societal roles? Or is it a way for Eldest Daughters to lean into their own martyrdom complexes? And how does being the immigrant eldest daughter compound your Eldest Daughter-ness? We got Eldest Daughter Ifeoma Ozoma to come on the show and help me (Eldest Daughter) and Melody (also Eldest Daughter, duh) answer all your questions — and work through our own changing relationship to the Eldest Daughter Discourse. (And yes, there's a reason this one's coming out during the holidays, the best/worst time to be an Eldest Daughter)

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Show Notes:

• Ifeoma Ozoma is an eldest daughter and also A TOTAL BOSS (TRULY)

• At the end of the episode we talk about her advocacy with Niños and Neighbors — you can read more about it here and join their mailing list/donate here

• The Eldest Daughter Club on IG (218k followers!)

• The study I referenced re: stress during pregnancy and hormones in eldest daughters comes out of UCLA — you can find more about it here

We're currently looking for your questions for future episodes about:

• '90s Movie Soundtracks

• How we think about the morality of money and taxes — who should pay taxes, who shouldn't, who "deserves" money, who doesn't, how we came to decide that religious organizations shouldn't pay taxes (and how that belief is changing), SO MUCH

• How to process all the STUFF accumulated from relatives (we have a really helpful organizer with a bunch of mental health training for this one!)

• The State of The CHAIN RESTAURANT — and chain restaurant supply chain!!! (I'm so excited for this one)

• Anything you need advice or want musings on for the AAA segment. You can ask about anything, it’s literally the name of the segment

• As always, you can submit your questions (and ideas for future eps) here

For this week’s discussion: Do you have eldest daughter energy? If you do, how has it changed over time? And if you don't: how do you relate to eldest daughters?