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13min chapter
Ellen Burstyn at 90 Today
Death, Sex & Money
Discovering Love for Poetry and a 90th Birthday Celebration
This chapter delves into the speaker's journey of finding their passion for poetry and their memorable 90th birthday party. It explores the power of metaphor and rhyme in conveying deeper meanings and the joy of celebrating with loved ones through music, poetry, and heartfelt moments.
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Episode notes
Speaker 3
You know, my original name was Edna Rege-Lule. And I wrote a poem in high
Speaker 9
school
Speaker 2
that I wasn't sure was any good.
Speaker 3
And I gave it to the smartest boy in class to see what he thought.
Speaker 2
And he said, well, just
Speaker 3
because your name is Edna doesn't mean you have to copy your style. And I said Edna who? And he said Edna St. Vincent Malay.
Speaker 1
I think he was giving you a compliment is what he was trying
Speaker 6
to say.
Speaker 2
And I started reading her poetry and I just got hooked on poetry forever. There's something about, something being
Speaker 3
said in
Speaker 2
metaphor and rhyme and
Speaker 4
rhythm. That penetrates deeper.
Speaker 2
I don't know. I feel like when
Speaker 3
we read the metaphor and we know that it's referring to something else and we have to conjure that in our mind what it's referring to. It's coming from
Speaker 2
us then. So we're a parting to the art.
Speaker 5
No.
Speaker 2
That's what I
Speaker 5
find.
Speaker 1
That's really beautifully said. So, to go back, when I asked you about what it's been like to turn 90, it sounds like you've been
Speaker 7
busy. I've been turning 90 has been busy for you. I had a party
Speaker 3
and I invited all my
Speaker 2
people closest to me in life, including ones that are in California and I said I'm sorry, it's going to cost you plain fabric to have to
Speaker 6
come.
Speaker 2
And
Speaker 3
it was just the best party anybody ever went to. I said no presence.
Speaker 2
Your presence spelled the other way is enough.
Speaker 3
And anything
Speaker 2
that you want to bring in terms of a story or a
Speaker 3
song. So a lot of people sang and played the
Speaker 2
piano and brought poems. And it was
Speaker 3
just, it was
Speaker 6
like
Speaker 2
the best live
Speaker 5
review that I've ever
Speaker 2
been to. And it was in my own home. And with my friends, it was just great. Oh, that's lovely.
Speaker 1
And is there a song that sticks out from that review celebrating your 90 years in your house? Like when you think about a moment, a perfect moment from that evening?
Speaker 3
Oh, I have a friend named Mimi Friedman who wrote a song about
Speaker 2
me. And I made her sing it three different times as other
Speaker 5
people came in. It was so good.
Speaker 8
The world received a stellar gift on a chilly December 7th day in Detroit in 1932. And Karina birthed and arranged as Jack's little
Speaker 9
baby sister grew.
Speaker 8
Her star shine
Speaker 9
could not be ignored. As
Speaker 8
the Michigan State Fair,
Speaker 1
she booked a gig with a little motor company called for. That's wonderful that she wrote a song about you. And then she kept.
Speaker 7
You made her sing it three times again and
Speaker 5
again. Well as new people came.
Speaker 7
Of course. Yeah, of course. I'm going to share
Speaker 1
it. Is there anything you've noticed about the shift from being in your 80s to being in your 90s that you feel in your
Speaker 5
body that is? Oh, yes. Oh, definitely.
Speaker 2
My digestion isn't quite what it used
Speaker 6
to be.
Speaker 2
My balance isn't as wonderful as it once was. When I walked my dog, I'm using a
Speaker 6
stick
Speaker 3
now, which I find very helpful.
Speaker 2
But my energy is good. And
Speaker 5
my memory isn't as brilliant as it was. I mean,
Speaker 2
early on I could read a play four times and pretty much know it. Not the case anymore. I have to do a little more
Speaker 6
drilling. And
Speaker 2
my long term memory seems to be fine. Short term. Did I take those pills? Right there to set me to not took them or it didn't
Speaker 6
take them. Yeah. A lot of that. Yeah.
Speaker 2
But that's not so bad. No. So
Speaker 1
when we talked in 2014, your son I believe was in his 50s. In his 60s now, is that
Speaker 6
right? Yes.
Speaker 5
What's it like
Speaker 1
between mother and son? Like have you noticed any change in the way that you two care for one another?
Speaker 5
Well, I say things like I'm going to die, get used to it. Don't say it. Don't say it. I don't want to hear it. No, I don't have to get
Speaker 1
used to it. So you talk about it, but you talk about it in Jest and then move
Speaker 6
on. Well,
Speaker 2
I wouldn't talk about it
Speaker 5
seriously, but
Speaker 2
he's not willing. His wife went through her mother's death just a couple years ago. And it was very, very hard for her. And I think he was, you know, has been thinking, oh, God, what's it going to be for me? I hope it's not going to be as traumatic. Yeah.
Speaker 1
You said to me in 2014, you said, I know I've been a successful actor. I don't know if I've been a successful person yet. Do you still feel
Speaker 7
like that?
Speaker 3
I obviously have not been successful at romantic relationships. I don't
Speaker 1
know if that's obvious. I mean, you've had more than one marriage, but maybe they unfolded the way they were supposed to.
Speaker 2
Where my selection ability seems flawed. I just
Speaker 3
don't seem to be good at it.
Speaker 5
However, I
Speaker 3
built my own kind of family with
Speaker 2
people I love.
Speaker 3
I was in the grocery store once in the neighborhood where we lived, where we shot.
Speaker 2
And a woman said, you're Ellen Burston, aren't you? I said, yes, figuring. She was going to tell me she liked my movies. No. She said, you're Jeff's mother.
Speaker 3
You know, he pained houses.
Speaker 2
And she said, I found that
Speaker 3
when he finished painting my house,
Speaker 2
I was making up jobs to keep him coming back because he's just so sunny, a personality that people want
Speaker 3
to have him around. I love that.
Speaker 2
Sunny, it's the best word
Speaker 5
for it.
Speaker 3
And I'm deeply pleased that with all of my various
Speaker 6
gentlemen in my life, that
Speaker 2
I somehow managed to bring up a good man and a good father,
Speaker 3
a good husband.
Speaker 2
That's kind of comfort
Speaker 1
to
Speaker 8
me. Can I ask you
Speaker 1
a bit of advice now that I'm a middle-aged interviewer instead of a young interviewer? What I have noticed about my creative
Speaker 5
spark is that
Speaker 1
as I've been doing this for more years and there's more things that I have done, it's a little bit harder to come by that sense of adventure that comes from novelty, which was so much a part of my early creative hunger was like, what will it be like if I get to do this? And how do I hustle in order to get to try this? You know, as I mentioned, our show is almost 10 years old. I've noticed as I've done, been doing this for longer. And as I think about, what does it mean to have a career where you're doing what you've been doing for a while?
Speaker 5
Like, have you had
Speaker 1
to sort of change how you think about what the fuel is that you're tapping into to be interested to not be bored?
Speaker 2
Well, what comes to mind immediately is
Speaker 5
going
Speaker 3
in a new direction, talking to people that you haven't
Speaker 2
talked to, that are different and you're wondering why they're
Speaker 3
different, how they can be that different from you. That seemed to me to be interesting. Does that interest you? Yeah. Well, what I hear you saying
Speaker 1
is, I think my question presumed that I have to let go of novelty because I'm middle-aged and you're saying you have to keep finding the ways to keep learning, to keep finding the things you haven't encountered yet and to stay open to curiosity. More novelty.
Speaker 6
More novelty, yeah. More novel than ever.
Speaker 7
Because it's easy
Speaker 1
to get comfy in middle-aged and
Speaker 7
stay in
Speaker 1
your ruts, maybe.
Speaker 3
You know, I love this
Speaker 2
story. I spoke somewhere at a event
Speaker 3
in a big ballroom. I don't remember what it was for. And afterwards, this woman came up to me. I told this on television before, so
Speaker 2
I'm repeating myself. It's okay. And she said, okay, I know your age. What's your secret? And I
Speaker 6
said, I
Speaker 3
don't drink. I don't eat meat. I
Speaker 2
exercise.
Speaker 3
I
Speaker 2
don't eat drugs. I live healthily.
Speaker 5
And she went, you don't drink?
Speaker 3
Curling her lip. What a
Speaker 6
horrible thought that was.
Speaker 3
And I thought, there it is. If you want to change, you have to change
Speaker 1
your habits.
Speaker 3
It's your habits that keep you stuck in the same place you've been in for a long, long time.
Speaker 2
So
Speaker 3
what
Speaker 2
habit could you change?
Speaker 1
Oh, I really feel called to think about that more, Ellen. That's one that's going to stick with me. Oh, huh.
Speaker 5
Or
Speaker 3
what are you a little afraid of?
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. There's lots of things I'm a lot afraid of.
Speaker 2
Oh, well, there's a good area to explore. Yeah.
Speaker 5
No.
Speaker 4
Hmm.
Speaker 1
Ellen Burston, thank you for spending time with me again. I always, you leave me changed. Oh,
Speaker 5
really?
Speaker 6
Yeah.
Speaker 3
Thank you. It was wonderful talking to you. I love the question to ask. You're a deep person. I can feel
Speaker 6
it.
Speaker 1
That's Ellen Burston. She spoke with me from her apartment in Manhattan just a few weeks ago. This episode was produced by Liliana Maria Percy Ruiz, Afi Yellowduke, and me. I'm Anna Sale, and this is Death, Sex, and Money from WNYC.
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