How Social Media Gamifies Identity and Curates Aspirational Selves

Welcome to episode #1010 of Thinking With Mitch Joel (formerly Six Pixels of Separation).

What if the search for our "true selves" has been leading us away from who we actually need to become? That's the tension at the heart of Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic's work, a globally respected authority on people analytics, talent, leadership, and the Human–AI interface whose career spans ManpowerGroup, Deeper Signals, Meta Profiling, Columbia University, UCL, and decades of research that have shaped how organizations understand human behavior. His latest book, Don't Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated (And What To Do Instead), challenges one of the most cherished modern beliefs - that success comes from projecting our raw, unfiltered selves - and instead argues that adaptability, reputational awareness, and a more evidence-based approach to identity lead to better outcomes for individuals, teams, and societies. He is also the author of Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?, I, Human, The Talent Delusion, and many others. In this conversation, we unpack how hyper-normalized ideas take root, why celebrity culture distorts our sense of what authenticity looks like, and how social media has gamified identity into a curated performance that misleads both the performer and the audience. He explains why leaders must balance sincerity with impression management, how hybrid work and return-to-office debates reveal deeper anxieties about trust and presence, and why intellectual curiosity may be the antidote to polarization in an era where algorithms reward tribalism. The discussion also explores the limits of self-perception, the psychology of reputation, the dangers of treating outliers as role models, and the pivotal role AI may play in counteracting human bias. Ultimately, Tomas argues that authenticity without responsibility collapses into narcissism, and that a more thoughtful, flexible, and socially attuned version of ourselves is not only possible, but necessary. Enjoy the conversation…

• Running time: 1:06:25.
• Hello from beautiful Montreal.
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• Please visit and leave comments on the blog - Thinking With Mitch Joel.
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• Here is my conversation with Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic.
• Don't Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated (And What To Do Instead.
• Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?.
• I, Human.
• The Talent Delusion.
• Tomas' other books.
• Follow Tomas on LinkedIn.

Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction to Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic. (03:11) - The Concept of 'Don't Be Yourself'. (06:00) - Hyper Normalization and Management Ideas. (08:48) - The Role of Celebrity and Authenticity. (12:04) - Polarization and Tribalism in Society. (15:11) - The Evolution of Human Interaction. (17:58) - The Impact of AI on Decision Making. (20:49) - Navigating Individualism and Identity. (23:52) - The Dichotomy of Authenticity in Leadership. (26:56) - The Reality of Career Paths and Entrepreneurship. (30:06) - Return to Office and Hybrid Work Dynamics. (33:49) - The Value of 3D Encounters in Recruitment. (36:40) - Authenticity and Skilled Self-Presentation. (39:02) - Collaboration and Trust in Professional Settings. (42:26) - Authenticity vs. Reputation: A Complex Relationship. (48:09) - The Subjectivity of Authenticity. (54:17) - Projecting Positivity in a Negative World. (01:00:10) - Social Media's Impact on Identity and Authenticity.